Black Zero

Once upon a time, in a distant corner of the universe, there was a magnificent star. It was known as the Shiniest Star among others. Feasting your eyes on its beauty for long could make you blind! But the risk of going blind couldn’t keep the surrounding stars from beholding it. When they were unable to watch it anymore, they started talking about it, dreaming about it… And, it wasn’t just about the nice looks of the Shiniest Star that mesmerized others. Staring at it would turn on the fountains of inspirations… And as you listened to it, you would find yourself engulfed in wisdom and knowledge.

“Learn the recipe of eternal life from this sojourner:

Excavate love from the deepest corners of existence,

Ignite the sorrow of separation for luminescence,

Freeze the light; it’s precious,

Beware constancy,

Seek love in secrecy.”

The news and legends about the Shiniest Star kept spreading farther and farther into the space, and more stars decided to join the crowd surrounding this wonder. As they orbited around such unique creation, they, too, lost their identities in admiration of it… This one body of stars had a common dream: “one day, being consumed in union with the Shiniest Star…”

 “When light falls in love, it becomes invisible

To make the beloved visible!

When love falls in love,

Everything becomes invisible

For love is the light of all.”

Being the epitome of love and wisdom, the Shiniest Star was washed in an ocean of amity like no one else. Despite all of the admiration and attention for it, the Shiniest Star felt that it was deprived of the water of life:

“I am so attractive,

Because I need so much attention!

Because I cannot speak of my endless thirst,

I am so elusive!”

So, the other stars were both attracted by the Shiniest Star and, at the same time, they were exhausted by not being able to quench its thirst for being loved. Although they presented their company to it, the Shiniest Star could not be delivered from feeling alone:

 “Is it my heart telling me an endless story of love?

Or am I the graveyard of unquenched love?

I am my lonely listener, my own grieving tombstone…”

So, an irritating question appeared in the stars’ minds: Although unexpected considering all the attention and admiration given to it, was it a hopeless love that was troubling the Shiniest Star?

“I conceived a love in my heart.

I had a miscarriage,

And my love died before seeing the daylight.

I buried it in the bottom of my heart.”

Another aspect that culminated the Shiniest Star’s depression was its very wisdom that it always shared so generously with every bit of existence without discrimination. As other stars were attracted by it, they fell unconscious with the deep impact of it. So, the Shiniest Star was desirable but unreachable…

“I am generous,

Although I am the most hungry!

I am inspiring,

Although I am the most daunting!

I am the White Zero,

Mating place of light and darkness”

It was not only the other stars that couldn’t reach the Shiniest Star. Stressed between the coexistence of opposites within its very heart, the Shiniest Star couldn’t make sense of itself, either. The heart that was powerful enough to express unconditional love for others was not able to embrace its owner. Veiled by selfless acts was a self that was void! It was as if the Shiniest Star had been consumed throughout its life by its own heart beat by beat. The Shiniest Star sounded as if its heart was so void that it could swallow the entire universe.

“I am asking for help from the Artist of my heart

That I can wait in patience until I collapse

From the very love I am hiding inside.

At that moment of death,

I am going to surround you from all sides.”

Death was something unexpected of a star in its age of shine. The Shiniest Star knew this, too. But why did it talk about death? What kind of a love was it hiding inside? And, even if this death happened, it would be the Shiniest Star that would be surrounded by others, not the other way around! Instead of answering these piling questions, the letters from the Shiniest Star became ever more elusive and frequent!

“Why do I love you?

You are a poem rhyming with my entire life!

What can I do other than loving?”

- o -

“What is between you and me?

An ocean of blood filled by my bleeding heart,

‘Cause your love is still in my heart.

Unable to heal, let alone forget,

I am just trying not to acknowledge it!”

 - o -

“My love is invisible,

But my tears testify to its existence.

Oh, Gama Ray!

 You are not the beauty my eyes are looking for outside;

You are the beauty that glares out of my eyes.”

One day, the stars woke up with a thunder, like nothing before. They tried to look around to see what had happened. Everywhere looked fine except the direction of the Shiniest Star. Instead of infinite brightness, there was a mass of glaring debris and a beautiful, circular darkness… A blackness, but too exquisite to be nothing… What had happened to the Shiniest Star? Was it simply punched out of existence? Was this the death foretold in the poems of the Shiniest Star?

The stars fell into turmoil with the thought of losing this source of beauty and wisdom. “It was at the heart of everything! What are we going to do now?” they started weeping. With the Shiniest Star gone, there was nothing that made this distant corner of the universe special; and so, there remained no ties to keep the countless stars together there. After the initial moments of grief, some of the stars went into discussions about leaving and never coming back again. Some others wanted to stay no matter what, because this place carried the memories of the Shiniest Star. One of them uttered these words of eulogy in despair: “Knowing that you are not here anymore annihilates the possibility of seeing you here. And that impossibility turns this corner of space into a dead body.”

As the stars were lost in their grief and didn’t know what to do, one of them found a final poem that must have been composed by the Shiniest Star as it was saying its thunderous good-bye:

“Great reunions start with great separations…

Great separations take root in great loves.

I am sentenced to exile from you!

My body is free but my spirit is captive in you.”

This final piece spread a cloud of smile on the sad faces of stars. They promptly started to look if the Shiniest Star had left a message about where it was going, and if it was coming back. It was unclear! Did it go to meet its love? Was it ever coming back to the company of its friends here? With the stars drowning in their ocean of tears and questions, they witnessed something they had not seen or imagined ever before: the words they had just seen were transformed to new ones, as if written just then by an invisible hand:

“I am in an endless depression,

Because I am eating myself!

Do not take me for a lunatic,

For whoever falls in love with Zero

Shall die to unite with her.”

In this final piece, the long-sought answer was revealed. The Shiniest Star was in love with Black Zero, and now they must be together.

The Shiniest Star never came out of that beautiful, circular darkness. Still, the other stars’ desire to reach the Shiniest Star did not wither. They were in love with it. So, listening to its last words, one after another, the stars ventured a journey towards the Black Zero and never came back! Perhaps, they, too, found the union they have long been craving for.